The 7 Phases of Owning an iPod
This was something I created back in 2006 for another website.
PHASE 1: This is the "OH MY GOD IT'S SO SMALL AND SHINY" phase. You marvel at how small and shiny it is, stealing glances whenever you can.
PHASE 2: This is the phase where all your friends say "OH MY GOD IT'S SO SMALL AND SHINY" and you're like, totally over it.
PHASE 3: The iPod has become a permanent part of your body. If you're not showering or communicating with someone who has the authority to fire you, your ipod is blasting in your ears.
PHASE 4: You lose your impossibly small ipod somewhere in your home and nearly have a nervous breakdown. After eventually finding it you seriously consider ingesting it for safe-keeping.
PHASE 5: You suffer from permanent hearing damage. This does not deter you from constantly listening to your iPod at high volumes, however.
PHASE 6: smaller, fancier ipod is created and yours is now outdated and crappy. Yours is no longer awesome, it is horribly awful. Just awful.
PHASE 7: You upgrade and buy the newer ipod. You are now destitute and are forced to live off cardboard and stray animals to survive.
All content is Copyright © 2020 Matthew Inman.
Please don't steal.