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6 Reasons Bacon is Better Than True Love

Even though both go straight to the heart, one is definitely better than the other

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My dog has two speeds

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Log out, right now.

When I die

Chug! Chug! Chug!

Hamster Atonement

How many hungry weasels could your body feed?

Help me raise money to buy Nikola Tesla's old laboratory

What it means when you say

How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo)

Every campfire, ever.

Nobody cares

A Game of Cat and Mouth

FunnyJunk is threatening to file a federal lawsuit against me unless I pay $20,000 in damages

Why haven't you had kids yet?

How your body responds to exercise

Disappointment

I will climb the highest peak

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