The Oatmeal

The Oatmeal

Home Comics Animations (NEW) Games Books Subscribe Blog

What are your chances of surviving an intense lovemaking session with bigfoot? Quiz

What are your chances of surviving an intense lovemaking session with bigfoot?

What are your chances of surviving an intense lovemaking session with bigfoot?

What are your chances of surviving an intense lovemaking session with bigfoot?

1.Suppose a large forest-dwelling creature (ie: bigfoot) sat on your face, how long do you think you could hold your breath?

A long time, maybe 3 minutes or more. I often get sat on by cows, large people, farm equipment, etc.
My lungs are pretty strong, maybe 1-2 minutes?
Not long, I'm a smoker or I have no experience being suffocated by large, hairy beasts

9 questions remain

2.Do you have any experience as a wrestler?

Yes, college level or pro
Yes, high school
A little, wrestling with siblings or fiends
None

8 questions remain

3.Currently, how often do you have sex with someone larger than you?

Every day
A few times a week
A few times a month
Almost never :(

7 questions remain

4.In your lifetime, how many large (220+ pounds, 99+ kg) people have you had sex with?

None
1-2
3-5
5-10
10+

6 questions remain

5.Has anyone ever made you their bitch before? (in prison or otherwise)

Yes
No

5 questions remain

6.Are you typically on top or bottom?

Top
Bottom
Either one, it's split pretty even

4 questions remain

7.How often do you do lower body lifting, such as squats or deadlifts?

Often (multiple time a week)
Sometimes
Almost never

3 questions remain

8.How often do you exercise?

6+ times a week
3-5 times a week
1-2 times a week
Almost never

2 questions remain

9.Have you ever slept with someone who smelled like pine cones and rabbit blood?

Yes
No

1 questions remain

10.If sasquatch asked you to squeal loudly and call him 'dirty pappa bear,' would you be cool with it?

Yes, and I'm getting excited just thinking about it!
No, I think I'd need therapy after that

final question!

More comics from The Oatmeal

Random - Popular - Latest

How to tie a perfect man bun

Creativity is like breathing

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

What I mean when I say 'definitely.'

Las Vegas at various ages

Good vs Evil

Self-love

Eight marvelous and melancholy things I've learned about creativity

10 reasons to avoid talking on the phone

What a mobile website is SUPPOSED to do

How movie theaters SHOULD be laid out

Being hungover

How we fix our relationship problems

Dumb Jokes That Are Funny

My relationship with fruit

Horrible Therapist - Random Comic Generator

The Bobcats on Tuesday

How my pets see me

Home

Comics

Games

Books

Blog

Quizzes

About

Contact

RSS - Mastodon -

The Oatmeal

All content is Copyright © 2023 Matthew Inman.