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How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo)

• 1.	How much experience do you have swinging a baseball bat? Little to none Some experience- little league baseball, etc Experienced -I played baseball in high school or recreationally Very experienced - I practice in batting cages or played in college 10 questions remain

• 2.	If a baboon bit your ear off, which emotion would it most likely invoke? Fear, panic, and tears Shock and horror A murderous rage as black as my cold, dead heart 9 questions remain

• 3.	In your lifetime, how many fights have you been in? 0 1 2-3 4-6 More than 6 8 questions remain

• 4.	How far can you kick a soccer ball? I have no idea A short distance, maybe 20-49 feet Moderate distance, 50-100 feet Very far - more than 100 feet 7 questions remain

• 5.	Could you kick the head off a fast-moving baboon? Yes No 6 questions remain

• 6.	Describe how much experience you have boxing: None A little, messing around with siblings or friends Moderate amount Highly experienced - college, martial arts, or otherwise 5 questions remain

• 7.	Do you think you could still throw forceful punches with monkey blood splattered in your eyes? No Yes I punch better when the smell of blood is in the air 4 questions remain

• 8.	Can you multi-task, or do you prefer to work on one thing at a time? Multi-tasker One thing at a time 3 questions remain

• 9.	How strong is your bite? I have no idea Fairly strong, I chew beef jerky and/or gum pretty regularly Very strong - I can chew a beer can in half. 2 questions remain

• 10.	Have you ever played whack-a-mole? Yes No 1 questions remain

• 11.	Have you ever played whack-a-mole, except the moles were shrieking baboons and the hammer was a giant rubber dildo? Yes No No, but that sounds like the greatest sport in the history of athleticism final question!

        

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