A cloud Another cloud M o o n that spells cat

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

A new book by The Oatmeal

#1 New York Times Best Seller

Kitty eyeballs that blink
What's inside? Pre-order Book Tour FAQ Andrews McMeel
What's inside?

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you is the latest book from the Latin dance sensation known as "The Oatmeal." It contains 136 pages of comics, instructional guides, and facts to help you enjoy, love, and survive your cat. This book contains a bunch of Oatmeal classics, such as Cat vs. Internet, How to pet a kitty, and the infamous Bobcats, as well as cat-turd-sized loads of new material. A few examples include:

  • How to tell if your cat is a raging homosexual
  • 6 ways to tell if your cat thinks it's a mountain lion
  • The Bobcats on Saturday
  • If we treated our cats like they treat us
  • The 3 ways of dealing with cat litter

Every copy also includes a pullout poster of “How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.”

This book is available in all major bookstores, including Barnes & Noble, Chapters Indigo, and IndieBound. You can also order it online:

Preorder on Amazon Preorder on Barnes and Noble Preorder on Amazon UK

Preorder on Chapters | Indigo Preorder on Amazon Canada Preorder on IndieBound

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you calendar
Amazon Barnes & Noble Calendars.com Amazon Canada
(You can also probably find it at most Barnes & Noble retail locations, mall kiosks, and calendar shops.)
The Book Tour

Tour has ended.

Frequently Asked Questions
  • When does it come out?

    US & Canada customers: October 9th, 2012
    UK customers: October 11th, 2012
    All other countries: sometime shortly after that
    If you live outside the US and want it sooner, you can order it online.

  • Can I get the book even if I don’t live in the US?

    In Canada it will debut at the same time as the US. If you live in the UK, the book will appear in stores on October 11th, 2012. All other countries should receive it in the following weeks, depending on where you live. You can order it online if you want it before that.

  • How much does it cost?

    Amazon $14.99 currently $9.00      Barnes and Noble $14.99 currently $9.00     
    (note: these prices are subject to change)

  • Can I buy a copy of the book at a book signing?

    Yes, books will be available for purchase at all the signings.

  • What items will be available for purchase at a book signing?

    My new book for sure, and some of the stores will have the calendar as well. If you want me to sign prints, shirts, mugs, etc you'll have to buy them from the Oatmeal shop and bring them with you.

  • Can I bring other merchandise to a book signing?

    Yep, I'll sign anything. However, some bookstores require a book purchase for a signature, some require a book purchase for a ticket to the event, some require no purchase at all. It varies from bookstore to bookstore. Contact the venue directly with any questions.

  • How come your tour doesn't stop in my city? :(

    My publisher chooses cities based on the availability of a time slot that works with the rest of the tour. If I don't come to your city it doesn't mean I hate you, it just means we probably couldn't find a bookstore that worked with our schedule.

  • Where can I buy it?

    Most major bookstores should carry it on or after October 9th, 2012. If not go get it online.

  • How big is it?

    136 pages, 7”x9” (18cm x 23cm). and it weighs about as much as an extremely overweight gerbil.
    The included poster is 18" x 24" (45cm x 61cm).

  • Paperback or Hardcover?


  • Why should I buy a book full of stuff that's available online for free?

    Two reasons: the first being that the majority of the material in the book isn't available online and it never will be, so if you buy the book you get access to a ton of new comics.
    The second (and more important) reason is that I'm able to provide free comics online BECAUSE of people who support me and buy my books.

  • What’s the ISBN? I think ISBNs are neat.

    ISBN: 9781449410247

  • Where do babies come from?

    Babies come from vaginas.