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My Funeral Instructions

Last weekend my family had a BBQ. I told them that when I died I wanted my body to be hurled via trebuchet into an erupting volcano, and I even wrote down specific instructions for my funeral service.

Trebuchet snap kapow!

They told me this was not logistically possible and a hugely inconsiderate thing to do to a grief stricken family.
I called them a bunch of a-holes and soccer-kicked the watermelon off the picnic table and into the bushes.

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