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How many Justin Biebers could you take in a fight?

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• 1.

  Watch the above video for a few seconds. What's the first thing that pops into your head? Wow, what a catchy song - I'm gonna go get my mom to buy the album for me! Is that a guy or a girl singing? I can't tell This douche is setting the human race back a thousand years KILL IT. KILL THAT THING. OH GOD MY EARS ARE BLEEDING 12 questions remain

• 2.	Would you be willing to tear off one of the Bieber's arms and/or legs, and then use them as weapons against other Biebers? Yes No 11 questions remain

• 3.	How high can you kick? I don't know / not very high 2-3 feet More than 3 feet 10 questions remain

• 4.	Do you have any martial arts training? Yes, I'm very skilled at martial arts I've had some training No 9 questions remain

• 5.	If a Bieber attacked you, where would be the first place you'd strike? I'd crane-kick him in his pretty mouth I'd punch his little Bieber balls I'd roundhouse him so hard his internal organs would splatter out of his butt 8 questions remain

• 6.	In your lifetime, how many fights have you been in? None 1-2 3-7 8 or more 7 questions remain

• 7.	Do you have any experience fighting badgers, weasels, or other small vicious animals? Yes No No, but I'm willing to learn! 6 questions remain

• 8.	Would you be willing to bite off a few fingers of one of the Biebers if it meant escaping from a deadly choke hold? Yes No 5 questions remain

• 9.	What would you then do with those fingers? I'd swallow them. More protein = better fighter. I'd spit them back in Justin Bieber's face and say "FINGER LICKIN' GOOD bahahaha" 4 questions remain

• 10.	Do you have any experience fighting swarms, such as being chased by a bunch of pissed-off bees or playing starcraft against the Zerg? Yes No 3 questions remain

• 11.	If Bieber blood got splashed in your eyes, how would you react? I'd panic I'd try to rub it out of my eyes and then resume fighting Getting blood in my eyes gives me "war vision" and makes me a better fighter. 2 questions remain

• 12.	How tall are you? Very short Short Average Tall Very tall 1 questions remain

• 13.	Would you be willing to use pieces of dead Biebers as armor upgrades for yourself? Yes No final question!

The Oatmeal

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