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What are your chances of surviving an intense lovemaking session with bigfoot?

• 1.

  Suppose a large forest-dwelling creature (ie: bigfoot) sat on your face, how long do you think you could hold your breath? A long time, maybe 3 minutes or more. I often get sat on by cows, large people, farm equipment, etc. My lungs are pretty strong, maybe 1-2 minutes? Not long, I'm a smoker or I have no experience being suffocated by large, hairy beasts 9 questions remain

• 2.	Do you have any experience as a wrestler? Yes, college level or pro Yes, high school A little, wrestling with siblings or fiends None 8 questions remain

• 3.	Currently, how often do you have sex with someone larger than you? Every day A few times a week A few times a month Almost never :( 7 questions remain

• 4.	In your lifetime, how many large (220+ pounds, 99+ kg) people have you had sex with? None 1-2 3-5 5-10 10+ 6 questions remain

• 5.	Has anyone ever made you their bitch before? (in prison or otherwise) Yes No 5 questions remain

• 6.	Are you typically on top or bottom? Top Bottom Either one, it's split pretty even 4 questions remain

• 7.	How often do you do lower body lifting, such as squats or deadlifts? Often (multiple time a week) Sometimes Almost never 3 questions remain

• 8.	How often do you exercise? 6+ times a week 3-5 times a week 1-2 times a week Almost never 2 questions remain

• 9.	Have you ever slept with someone who smelled like pine cones and rabbit blood? Yes No 1 questions remain

• 10.	If sasquatch asked you to squeal loudly and call him 'dirty pappa bear,' would you be cool with it? Yes, and I'm getting excited just thinking about it! No, I think I'd need therapy after that final question!

The Oatmeal

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