Today is my 30th birthday, Jim Henson's birthday, AND National Punctuation Day
Take note: today marks 30 years that The Oatmeal has lumbered his bodice upon the earth.
AND it's Jim Henson's birthday. (He would have been 76.)
AND it's National Punctuation Day!
AND my Tesla Museum Fundraiser ends this week. Tesla was obsessed with the number three. I'm turning 30.
IT ALL LINES UP.
Because I've been around the sun 30 times now, I got some pretty awesome presents and I wanted to share them with you.
Sarah Donner (of Motherfucking Pterodactyl fame) painted this mosaic of Nikola Tesla which is proudly sitting in my living room.
Thank you Sarah! Everyone go follow her and listen to her fantastic songs. Sarah not only writes music, but actually does a ton of volunteer work to help out stray kitties. Go say nice things to her and mail her some jam sandwiches and/or rubies.
My girlfriend got me a computerized telescope which uses GPS and has buttons and knobs and does all kinds of amazing shit. This is what Saturn looks like when viewed through this telescope. The first time I saw this simply by looking into an eyepiece I nearly pooped my pantaloons.
Thank you to Staci Elaan for shipping me a Tesla cannon for my birthday. And thanks to Matt Harding for letting me shoot him.
Lastly, I got some pretty amazing stuff from my mom.
My mother's name is Ann and she also is the person who does customer service for my online shop.
If you've ever corresponded via email with customer service, chances are you talked to my mother. She's a very sweet lady so please be nice to her,
even if your package shows up on fire and full of rats or something.
First, she got me this fine book which I am very excited to read. (P.S. A pterosaur is the same thing as a pterodactyl.)
And you thought the MF pterodactyl was fiction. I HAVE LITERARY PROOF, MOTHERFUCKERS.
And then I opened this:
THESE ARE FOSSILIZED PTERODACTYL TEETH! What kind of mom gets her son fossilized pterodactyl teeth for his birthday? THE BEST KIND, GOD DAMMIT.
This gift beat out the time she got me Fraggles a few years back.
What I want from my readers for my birthday
I saw this Indiegogo campaign about a week ago which was attempting to raise money to buy me a Tesla car.
I was planning on buying a Model S for myself as a 30th birthday present anyway, so I came up with this sneaky plan to
post the campaign on The Oatmeal, see how much I could raise, and then donate 100% of the funds to PAWS,
which would provide food, shelter, and medical care to thousands of cats and dogs for the next few years.
I'd then just go buy the car with my own money, regardless of how much was raised from Indiegogo.
I feared the campaign would come off as self-serving and I feel like I've been striking the charity note a bit too much lately, however, so I abandoned the idea.
Instead, I'd love for three things to happen for my 30th:
- 1. Go donate to the Tesla fundraiser. 30th birthday. Tesla loves 3. 6 days left in the campaign. 3x2 = 6. I'd love to see one last blast of support before it ends.
- 2. Go read some grammar comics to celebrate National Punctuation Day.
- 3. Pre-order my new book. It's on Amazon and BarnesAndNoble.com right now for about ten bucks. I worked really hard on this book and it contains a ton of unreleased, new material. I'd love to enter my thirties with murderous cats storming across the bookshelves of this fine country of ours.
- 4. Just say happy birthday in the comments below. And maybe draw me some pictures.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone, and for making 2012 the apex of this weird little career of mine.